Being a 5’ 10”, multicultural, multiracial, multi spiritual, bisexual shows were everything and nothing in this vast universe. The earth was here before humans and It created our bodies. And whether you believe it or do not the bodies were given to us by mother earth. The Divine (god, energy, etc.) stays stagnant in the mind-body and spirit. It’s up to us to keep it flowing, but we have become too comfortable where we are destroying ourselves trying to find what is missing. We have been given every tool to do it too.
The day I “woke up” my boss asked me how I was and I replied, “I’m here aren’t I?” Hahaha, I think about it now and it was a very just negative thing to say. I was on break sitting on a stool in the back corner of the kitchen and spirit punched me in my face. Watching my coworkers mindlessly work, move, breath, and they did not even know it. Everything felt like it was in high definition. I was so fascinated by just touching some cut up tomatoes. I even started singing out loud and should have seen the looks I got. Not because it was bad, but because I was singing out loud. The realization that this very moment will never happen again. No matter how many pictures, or how I remember it. It will never happen again. I started to live. Then became obsessed because I found something that will help me heal because funding for mental health is almost nonexistent when you do not have insurance or the money. So, I had to make it work. Something I could find myself with. Because I destroyed my life, it was up to me to put all the pieces I scattered within things and people to put back together. It has been a difficult journey but mine is not over yet.
I am sharing my story whether someone watches or reads this or not. I have been through just about everything and have always been open about everything. I want to show everyone that no matter what you look like, what your drive, where you live, what cool tech shit you have. Everyone is going to die and given back their body to mother earth. We waste our time on things we might think is so important, but those same things will continue to exist when your body wont.So what do you have to lose? Be vulnerable. Be emotional. Sing out loud. Tell that person you love them. Love yourself.
And if you are struggling to get out of the sinking hole, I see you. I have been you. We can make it together.
Life is Just.