I had a talk with some ladies and this is what came out of this. If we dress too modest we are prudes. If we dress too sexy we are for the streets, and if we dress like a tomboy our sexuality is now at stake. The way we present does not determine the way you treat us. You boys been showing y’all’s nipples for thousands of years with no backlash. Now enjoy this political statement of under boob!
I have always hated clothes and found it hard to dress how I want because it was allllwayyyys something. My dad use to tell me to dress respectfully so men would respect me, and I didn’t put much thought into it then.. but now, it’s like they should respect me regardless. DUH. Why is it that growing up females are taught at such a young age that being a feminine, magical, sensual human being is wrong. Who told us to cover up ? Who said that we had to present a certain way to demand respect when men have been parading around doing whatever they want with honestly not many consequences until lately. If you are reading this and wondering why my punctuation and everything else is trash.. honeeeyyy I have been writing in APA and MLA format for the last 8 years of my life and I am tired of structure. So please read this with empathy and understanding. Perfection gets BORING.
Lately I have been stepping out of my masculine energy and the part of me that has gotten me this far.. The part that has to control, analyze, see the future, plan the future, plan the next step, and honestly… the part that stresses me tf out! I am sick of the anxiety and stress I have given myself because being a go getter and striving for success has been my life for the past 25 years.. For 25 years I have had goal after goal set for myself and not once did I enjoy the fresh air outside. I have not allowed anything to naturally flow to me and due to burn out.. now that is my only choice. I am so thankful for how far I have gotten in life thanks to that divine masculine energy. I have graduated, high school, college, and graduate school ( supervision hours can kick rocks though ). I worked hard for scholarships in basketball. I worked a freaking overnight shift so I could have two jobs and save for a new car. I started businesses. I have pushed myself toooo limits beyond even imagining just to get where I am at and I am not mad at it. I am PROUD of that, but now I am seeing that I have been living for my ego and not my spirit. My spirit just wants to enjoy life right now and release what doesn’t for-fill my purpose. I am listening to her voice and baayyyybayyy.. She talking to me real nice.
She said it’s time for me to live..
WELL B****, IM ALIVE!
I am so excited to turn towards patience, settledness, flow, and sensuality. I am ready to appreciate everything I have accomplished up until now. When I look at myself I truly should appreciate the strides I have made, but I have been so busy with looking for the next thing because that’s what my body is use to. I am afraid to settle, it brings me fear when I think of consistency on one path, but I feel I understand now that slowing down is not settling.. It’s giving yourself a chance to catch up to yourself. Feminine energy is all about being present and in tune with your surroundings and self everyday. What are you listening to? What are you surrounded by? What did you eat for lunch today? Do you even know how you got home? We are always in auto pilot! Once we get where we want and we aren’t as satisfied as we thought it’s a problem. The real problem is we aren’t allowing ourselves to appreciate the process of getting there. In my case I am never allowing myself to have any peace of mind. I am always trying to catch up to a version of myself that I feel I am suppose to be rather than being who I am now. I am so tired of the chase. I am tired of running. I just want to allow the natural feminine instincts to take over and show me what I have been missing out on. This has already started and so far here is what I have noticed.
- Many of the goals and ideas I wanted to for fill don’t even feed my spirit, they feed my ego.
- The foods I sometimes eat trigger my mental health and also my body just doesn’t want crap in it anymore.
- I have been chasing the person everyone has labeled me as at some point in my life and I just realized I will never get there.
- I can’t hold on to things that no longer fit me.
- I am art and life is created through me and my free will.
- I don’t care how my accomplishments look as long as I get to use my creativity and therapeutic energy to heal one person at a time. I can do this counseling or as a bartender in a small town that knows there regulars by heart.
I simply am choosing to become this feminine energy and however it may present itself.. Let it be in how I dress, or the way I speak. You will respect me. You will hear me.. & You will FEEL me.
The Divine Feminine